To Nap Time and Beyond

When I think of runners I see this deerlike creature lightly and gracefully travelling over the trails through forests and up mountains, feet barely touching the ground. This creature can cover tens of miles and post about it on instagram with a huge smile on his or her face talking about how nice it was to get a little fresh air. I am a little different. My running is more robotic. My gait is more hobbled limp than graceful stride. I am just trying to gasp and moan my way through hyperventilation towards my three to five mile goal. Usually I only smile when it’s over, but never, not once, have I ever been sorry I went. It has always been worth it when it’s over.

I suppose I can call myself a runner, but really it happened not so much out of desire but necessity. When I began my journey into stay at home dadding, Lila, my youngest, was beginning her journey into not sleeping. She was not happy about it, and either were her parents. I had to try something so we went outside for a jog during naptime. The fresh air and the bouncing stroller put her to sleep and a runner was born. Some fresh air in the morning seems to set her up great for an afternoon nap which in turn leads to a smoother evening and a consistent bedtime. Now, this doesn’t always work, but at the very worst we are getting outside, and my girls can see me being active and healthy. As parents, I feel that it is important to model these things for our kids.

Amongst all the insanity of raising kids, in my mind, sleeping is the most stressful. And when I say sleeping, I mean all of it. I’m talking naps and bed times and cry it out and co-sleeping and car sleeping and nighttime feeding and bed wetting and all the judgment and self doubt and insecurities that come bundled up with this thing we call parenting. Oh and throw in the thought that I can’t even remember the last time I actually wasn’t tired. I am going to say one thing about all that. You parents out there gotta do you. Now I am no expert by any means, but parenting is sometimes about survival. Every family has to do what works best for them. My oldest slept with us until she was three, and to tell you the truth, she probably would still sleep in our bed if we let her. It stopped working for us and we had to figure out something different. Lila, can’t stand to be anywhere near us when she sleeps so we had to cry it out a little and that was hard…but worth it. Everyone is way happier with her in her own room.

Parenting is an adventure not for the feint of heart. It is extreme and scary and stressful and hilarious and beautiful and is the best thing I have ever done. As a stay at home parent I am lucky enough to be totally immersed in all of those emotions daily, sometimes even hourly. Sometimes I feel like the girls have thrown me into the deep end of this chaos of feelings and are holding me under… and laughing. The days and nights often times don’t go as planned, but then the amazing will shine through and it’s all good, and I am this beaming gushy bursting beam of sunshine when Kate tells me that she only wants to be a princess that can save herself and Lila’s third word is “happy”. You know what? At that point a little sleep deprivation is totally worth it.

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